Friday, November 17, 2006

Week 11 - 260 (Issue 17)

Hey Committed Followers of the Sultans of  the Susquehanna:

My apologizes for not being in touch any sooner, but the Skins haven't really given much reason for me to write. I don't have much to say about this weeks game (NOT!!!), although I do think the Skins will win. DC will get very excited about JCampbell for a week and savor a victory over a crappy team over the Thanksgiving Holiday before Carolina comes into town and rearranges Campbell's face and mathematically eliminates us from the playoffs.


Here are some quick hitters you might be interested in:


1) Appx. 260 days until training camp 2007.

2) For those of you who aren't fond of Yair and I (and I know many are not), close your eyes and imagine the two of us standing on top of huge steps overlooking a thousand psycho Eagles fans screaming "assholes" at us. That should make you feel better. If that doesn't work, then imagine Yair and I sitting in torrential rains, gusting winds and freezing temperatures watching the Skins get slaughtered (while psycho Eagles fans continue chanting "assholes" at us).

3) RIP CP - Besides the 3-6 record, this one is the toughest for me to swallow. I had such great expectations for DollaBill this year. The poor guy spent the entire year nursing injuries, and when he was on the field, Al Saunders refused to give him the ball. Portis will undergo shoulder surgery as soon as his broken hand heals (probably 3 more weeks). Once the surgery happens, Portis will need 4-6 months of rehab. The Skins hope to have him ready for OTAs in April. The realist in me says Portis has three decent years left in the league before his body totally breaks down.

4) The Skins are only two games and a lot of tie breakers out of the playoffs. 7 wins in a row will probably get it done. Who's with me???

5) Ladell Betts might actually be good - The general feeling is that Betts is too slow - he can't hit the holes and turn the corner like CP. My feeling is that if the O-line can create some room, Betts will be very good in these last seven games. I only say this because athletes are driven by one thing - their next paycheck. Betts is a free agent after the season and he knows that 31 other NFL general managers will be watching him very closely. A couple of good games by Betts could end up sending his great-grandchildren to college.

6) Sit 'Tana (that's what his peeps call him) - Moss isn't close to 100%. He can't run a go pattern and he can't cut well. Playing him this week will only risk more injury. I really hope we don't see him out there.

7) Cross your chest for JC - Morale in DC is very high this week. I never realized the euphoria a black QB creates when he takes the helm for the Skins (its like Mardi Gras out here). I don't think Tony Banks created such a fervor, but if you walk the streets and read fan posts online, people in this city really believe that this is the second-coming of the original #17 (and the original JC). Christmas is around the corner - everyone wants to be part of a miracle, why not jump on the bandwagon? I really hope Gibbs gives the kid a shot - something tells me it won't happen. If Campbell shows any sign of weakness, you can pretty much guarantee that Byron Leftwich or Trent Green will be in camp next summer.

8) Sean Taylor - can anyone explain what the heck happened to the grim reaper this year? The only thing I can detect is that he's frustrated and trying to do too much (when he's actually near the play). You can also blame the Golden Arch for Taylor's demise - apparently Ryan Clark used to set Taylor up before every play, but this year Arch couldn't help Taylor out because he also had no idea where to be on the field. I think we'll see some progress from 21 as he gets more comfortable with Troy Vincent.

9) DFree - If you were wondering who the next big free agent bust will be, you don't have to look past big 93 in Indy. This guy is slowing down already and will command a huge salary based upon his earlier work as a speed rusher. DFree's glory days as a QB's biggest nightmare will be cut short just in time for him to get a trillion dollar Danny special and dawn the burgundy and gold.

10) Stay positive, kiddos. We are the joke of the National Football League (yet again). I recommend just laughing with everyone else, because if you opt for crying you'll probably just run out of tears.


Siesser - welcome to the 'Serv.

Monday, November 6, 2006

Week 10 - Open Forum (Issue 16)

Hey - I figured everyone would want to get in on the post-game gloating, so I am opening up the serv for everyone to get in on the party. I will have more about the now huge game with the Eagles later in the week.




Here's a message I am passing on from Bernice in Israel, please feel free to respond with happy messages by replying to all:

"Was that not one of the sweetest victories in all of redskins history? I don't care that we are 3-5 - We beat the hated cowboys with NO TIME left on the clock to kick the winning field goal. I'm sorry, but that was pretty damn SWEET!" - Bernice

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Week 9 - Mission (Issue 15)

Hey Team Redskin:

Long time no speak. If you've forgotten, the Redskins are 2-5 and are facing the Cowboys this week at FedEx.

I really haven't had a ton of time this week to prepare material, so I will tell you all I know (it won't take long).

Santana Moss won't play Sunday. Its not official yet, but Santana has missed 4 straight practices and has had hammy problems in the past - I presume they aren't going to risk a bigger injury and will deactivate him Sunday morning.

CP will split carries with Duckett. It's just not CP's year. He was in a walking boot last week and has participated in limited practice this week. I don't expect a heavy dose of DollaBill. I think Gibbs will finally look to see what TJD can do - they're 2-5 and I think they'll try to find any non-Jason Campbell spark they can find.

Corners are Back (Get it?).  24&22 will line up together for the first time this year. Expect a monster day from Jason Witten...

Because Khary Campbell is gonna start at MLB. 98's ankle is still no good.


All I kept reading this week was how bad the Skins players are (according to most NFL execs, 75% of the roster should retire right now). I also read how hard the coaching staff worked on the kinks on boths sides of the ball over the bye week, while all the Redskins players took vay-kays "the hell away from Redskins Park" (DollaBill). Apparently, Gibbs and his group of elvs spent hours and hours going over every tape, trying to find every possible offensive and defensive glitch - looking for ways to right the ship and turn it all around for the last 9 games.


What does this all mean, Uncle Scooter? Tell us -  what's going to happen this week?


I Expect a huge day from the Redskins coaching staff. I see Gibbs throwing for three TD's, Buges running for three more and Al Saunders taking two to the hizzie as well (pick them up for your fantasy rosters). On defense, I expect Gregg Williams to snag two picks and force three fumbles, with Greg Blache sacking Tony Romo four times (and then dying of a heart attack with 10:58 in the 3rd quarter). I know what you are thinking...what about Don Beraux? Fret not, the ole man will replace Gibbs at halftime after the Skins are up 35-0 and throw for four TDs himself.


Final Score on Sunday: Redskins Coaching Staff 77 Cowboys 14 Ditka 10


That's all I have to say about that.



And now another pitch for the Mission to New Orleans. Please read:

As many of you know, I am organizing a group of Skins fans to go down to New Orleans for a mission to build homes in the devastated ninth ward. We will be working with NoLa's Habitat for Humanity to build houses in the Musician's Village from December 12-17. We will be flying into NoLa on the night of December 12th (Tuesday), building homes on Wed-Friday and then moving to downtown New Orleans to hang out in the city over the weekend and going to the Skins/Saints game on Sunday. Volunteers will be staying at Habitat's Camp Hope from Tuesday to Thursday night and staying in the mission hotel over the weekend. Home building will take place from 7-330 Wednesday through Friday.


This is going to be an amazing experience and I want you all to join me. Our group will soon be registered with Habitat NoLa, and I will be arranging flights and hotels for those interested. We will also begin raising funds for the trip (and trying to get the Skins to throw us some free ticks for the game) - so we can make it easy for as many people to go as possible.


Please let me know if you are interested in getting "on da bus" or if you want to send some Benjamin's our way.


Check out our mission's blog and the mission's mentions on


Please consider taking a couple of days off to come down and join us - I promise it will be worth it.