Football? This Team Plays Football? Volume 3, Issue 5

Sons and Daughters of the Potomac Valley Braves,

I apologize for a very brief version of Skins Serv this week, but mid-terms have been the focus and I got be at FedEx by 10AM.

I'm actually not going to use this forum to talk about last week's game or even this week's game. Instead I will give you (in cased you missed it) a quick primer on the outlandish activity that came out of Ashburn this week. To say this team is a soap opera is a vast understatement - to say that they're run by, and represented by, juvenile delinquents is a little more accurate. You really gotta love this group. Could be the most lovable group of athletes since Willie Stargell and the 79 Pirates or maybe Doc Gooden and the 86 Mets. In honor of the Skins not doing anything football news worthy this week, I'm not going to write about anything football related. I'd say it's a fair deal, no? Let's get to it:

1) Chris Cooley Exposed Himself on the Internet - Don't think I need to explain further. Here are the links to explanations, reactions and the pic:
- How it happened: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2008/09/how_chris_cooleys_privates_hit.html
- The Pic (nudity - viewer discretion is strongly advised): http://buzzfeed.com/mjs538/chris-cooley-penis-slip-bu
- The Cooley Apology: http://chriscooley47.blogspot.com/2008/09/were-dumb.html

2) Clinton Portis and Brian Mitchell Fight on the Radio (and nearly in person) - This is my personal favorite. I've never heard Dolla Bill so angry and I love John Thompson's mediation:
- The uncut clip: http://nick8.surfernetwork.com/Media/Pod/wwxx/podcasting/09-16-08-Portis-JT-Show.mp3
- The Dan Steinberg Translation (This is Amazing): http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2008/09/breaking_down_portis-vs-brian.html

3) Redskins GM Vinny Cerrato Gets a Radio Show on Redskins Radio ESPN 980 - Just in case they hadn't fully claimed the title of biggest joke in the NFL Danny/Vinny were at it again this week. This time Czar Daniel gave his Vinny-boy 4 hours of air time on the only sports station in the city:
- The LaCanfora Rip (Go Jason): http://voices.washingtonpost.com/redskinsinsider/2008/09/vinny_cerrato_dan_snyders_new.html
- The JLC Follow Up: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2008/09/quotes_from_cerratos_radio_deb.html
- Quotes: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2008/09/quotes_from_cerratos_radio_deb.html
- Other 980 Hosts Discuss Cerrato: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2008/09/sports_reporters_crush_vinny_c.html

OK - some quick hitters for you (I changed my mind about the football thing):

A) The Cards Can Play - This team isn't a joke and might be the biggest surprise in the NFL by year's end. They flaunt amazing position players on offense and might end up being better on the defensive side of the ball. Guys like Dansby and Wilson are just the start - the front four might have two pro-bowlers too (Docket and LaBoy). Redskins optimists beware. JLC explains breaks down their defense: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/redskinsinsider/2008/09/cards_d_line_is_no_joke.html

B) Can JC Build on that Throw? - Despite JC's insane outing last week, I'm convinced this is still a week-to-week operation. The Cards have a faster and more aggressive defense than the Saints. I'd love to see Campbell come out on fire again, but I just don't think this will develop so quickly. Patience is crucial.

C) CP is Angry - In case you didn't hear the clip, Clinton Portis is mad. I think this means great things for the Skins and for my fantasy team. Portis might have the biggest chip on his shoulder of any player up here in the NFL - crazy considering he's coming off a 96 yard, 2 TD performance.

D) One Problem - They don't run right. Ever notice how CP can only gain yards going left? Very troublesome. They need to start running behind Heyer and Thomas or else teams will start shifting over and playing for the run left. We could already start seeing it in the first quarter tomorrow.

E) 'Zona WRs - Somehow Smootsie, Springs and Carlos are going to have to have a huge day. The Cardinals are very talented on the outsides, and even worse, very tall. Our corners are going to have to play lights out and...

F) Jason Taylor Needs to Attack Kurt Warner - Warner's old and can only play on timing. If he gets rattled, has to escape a rush or hold onto the ball for an extra second, he's in deep doo doo. The dude has been awesome, but hasn't exactly faced a good pass rush yet. Taylor looked great last week and if he and Carter can get around on the edges, the Skins will be able to create turnovers and get some easy points.

G) Durant Brooks Sucks - A botched hold and a 25 yard punt to Reggie Bush? Send him back to Atlanta or wherever the heck he came from. Reggie Roby please report to the deli counter.

H) Prediction - I have a bad feeling about this one - it's a tough matchup for us. The Cards defense is super fast which means our old o-line will be tested and our speedster WRs can be contained. The Cards also remembers the Rackers 52-yard doink last year and the awful calls that led to that heartbreaking defeat (which ended up keeping them out of the playoffs). The Cards have also been in DC for the week instead of practicing back in PHX. No jet lag means no sleepy Cardinals. That scares me too. Arizona 34 Redskins 26.

HTTR

ps - thank you to the Wash Post sports staff for providing all the meaty substance (links) this week