Friday, October 24, 2008

Trap? This Ain't No Trap: Volume 3, Issue 10

Doodie Browns,
For those of you who've been on me about the late Servs, here's a little Friday special for you. Should be some nice Shabbos Dinner reading for you and your family (I might even throw in a Dvar Torah so you can kill two birds).

A couple interesting points of note.
1) The Skins beat the Brown. Yessur!!! Demons exorcised (lata demons). Don't care how ugly the looked doing it - they got the job done. Braylon Edwards, the Browns so-called Super Star receiver, who openly questioned whether the Skins deserved their playoff spot last year and insinuated that the Browns were a better team, can kiss our collective butts. Braylon Edwards might have the worst hands I have ever scene and he looked scared to catch anything in and around Redskins players. See you in 4 years Brownies, you guys stink.
2) Remember last weeks bit about running on the field? Well two Skins Servers took it to heart. I'll say, I was very impressed with their strategy. Redskins security was not prepared for a two-pronged attack. Both guys were looking pretty good until one got a beat down on the sidelines and one got whipped by Randle El (ARE's first good special teams play of the season). Credit the drunkards for their imagination.
3) Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis. The guys is the NFL's darling. Its like a dream come true. Its like every writer in America became Troy Aikman (or me) and realized that Dolla Bill is elite, special, dare I say, Most Valuable. CP got 5,10, 15 and 20 yard chunks last week like they were free with 4 UPC's from the top of Cocoa Puffs. Some folks have been critical of CP for not turning the 20 yarders into 60 yard dingers. Relax - they'll come. This is the first time he's run with so much room since he's been here. He'll start looking for the hanging sliders and hit em' out. I promise.
4) This isn't a trap game. I know people are nervous about this one: the Lions are hungry and winless, so the Skins will take em lightly. Not so much. The Skins had their hiccup against the Rams and are too mature of a team to let down again. And, more importantly, this Lions team might be as bad is it gets ever. There's no Marc Bulger, no Stephen Jackson. Its pretty much 20 shabb footballers, Calvin Johnson and Ernie Sims. Two guys aren't going to beat the Skins. The Lions can't pass, run and stop either on defense. They are constantly playing from behind and give up the worst numbers in the league to opposing RBs and QBs. This means the Skins will pound it on the ground - one 15-20 yard gain at a time - and then will utilize the middle of the field with the passing game. The Skins pass rush will actually get to Aaaron Orlovsky - who'll have plenty of time to think about his next real-estate transaction after being thrown to the ground by Andre Carter and Jason Taylor. And don't worry about Calvin Johnson - according to JLC, all his numbers come in Garbage Time - Carlos will have him on lock down when it counts. If you're a gambling man, bet heavy on the Skins. They'll cover the 7.5 - I think its way too low a line, considering how good the Skins defense has been and how bad the Lions are.

I've really gotten off to an unusual Skins Serv start here. Formatting is all hoekie. My apologizes.

5) My nephew has a blog. Its a must read for any sports enthusiast. The kid's the Damon Bailey of bloggers.

Kol Tuv,


1) Get Healthy or Die -
So even though I've already tipped my hand about my very optimistic prediction for this week, let me say this: the Skins offense has been pathetic and if it doesn't start showing signs of improvement, they'll figure out a way to not make the playoffs. Explain to me how you can have a prolific running attack and get nothing through the air? I don't care what the Skins tell you - they're run heavy, blah blah blah - something is very wrong still with the passing offense. Portis is getting 25 carries and 120 plus yards a game - you're telling me defenses aren't keying on the run? It's a miracle that this o-line is still tearing up holes with Portis getting so much of the attention. So if this is the case, then why the heck can't the throw it down field and score some points? The Big Ole' Elephant in the room exists and its ugly - either the Redskins receiving corps is just terrible (not unlikely) or Jason Campbell still can't consistently find people down the field. I don't want to hear about Zorn going conservative last week after JC tweaked the groin - this passing offense hasn't had any legs since mid way through the Dallas game. Couple things have to change. 1) Campbell's gonna have to take chances (JC gets credit for not throwing INTs, have you ever considered the fact that maybe he doesn't throw picks because he refuses to ever take a chance on the Skins first reads before going to the safe check down?). He's been very efficient, but he's gonna have to start throwing for more yards and start taking some chances if this offense is going to go to the next level. If not, it will continue to stagnate. 2) Devin Thomas is going to have to get a brain (he can have mine - seriously, I'd pull the switch for the sake of the Lombardi trophy). The Skins need this guy so bad. ARE is not a number two receiver - he's a slot/third receiver. Chris Cooley isn't a number two receiver - he's a good pass-catching tight end. The Skins need a good number two to compliment Moss now. No way around it. If Thomas can make strides and pose a threat on the opposite side, defenses will have trouble adjusting. Put the safety in the box? Shade Moss? Drop back in a cover-two? Until that happens, defenses can keep an eye on Moss and continue focusing on CP. Winning scoring 14 is just not a motha flippin option if you want to be a con-ten-duh.

2) Fletcher/Rogers in 08' - A secure national defense -
These two guys have been insane. It is a distinct possibility that the Skins could have the offensive and defensive MVPs of the league (CP and London) and have the NFL comeback player of the year ('Los). Flashback to the Brownies first goal line stand. London, a product of C-Town's John Carroll Uni, made three of the four goal line plays. The first one, a Lavar Leap, took down Jamal Lewis like a Jackhammer into the ground (I personally was schepping nachas). The second one, broke up a play action fake to the TE (Heiden) and the third, as I recall, was breaking up a screen to the weak side. The guy was everywhere. Not sure how he is getting faster and covering more ground as he gets older. Roids? And how about Carlos? The guys coming back from ACL and MCL. And it wasn't like he was particularly good before he got hurt. All of a sudden, he's catapulted into a top-10 cornerback in the entire league. The Skins secondary is without Shawn Springs and they aren't missing a beat. Carlos shut down Braylon in man coverage, he shut down Tory Holt in man coverage and was great swallowing up the Eagles WRs the week before that. I don't know what opposing QBs will do once Springs is healthy. There's no where to throw the ball.

3) Smoooooot - Fred Smoot's also got a bad groin (still lingering effects from the Viking Boat incident three years ago), yet even without practicing a lick last week went out and gave the Skins a solid performance (I think Smoot might be the second best tackler on the team behind Fletcher). Smoot had no plans to play but once Springs went out he had no option. Talk about putting it on the line for the team. Love that guy.

4) Great Portis Stat - More on CP. Why not. I was in the trenches with him in the hard times, I gotta revel some more in this. According to the Elias Sports Bureau (JLC), if CP breaks 120 this week, he'll be the second RB in NFL history (good yichus - the other one is Juice) to rush for 120+ yards in five straight games twice in a career. BTW's - I was so very close to my 200 yard prediction. CP finished with a buck seven five. But he lost 15 on a Mike Sellers hold and probably another 20 because of the late-game fumble. Dude could have pushed 230 probably. Also, if CP keeps running like this, Sellers will get his Pro Bowl birth too.

5) Saadman 4 Pro Bowl - I'd really like to go to the Pro Bowl this year. I've been a fan alternate the past couple of years but think I deserve the nod this year. The work I've put into the Serv (with being in school) plus the tailgates I've banged out despite mid-terms and finals. I gotta be with CP in Honolulu. Call your Congressmen, email Roger Goodell, write in my name in the Pro Bowl ballot.

6) Injuries - No Springs (probably out till Dallas). No Kelly (he's going to IR probably). No Griff (Golston's been amazing and I think Montgomery could fill the void). Smoot's groin will go, Carlos is fine, CP is still nursing the hip but will get his 25, and JC's groin should be fine too. Marcus Washington is finally fully healthy and starting to show signs of 04 (poo poo poo).

7) Prediction - Lions are 27 in total offense and 32 in total defense. Nothing else you need to know. CP finally hits the homer (410 to deep center). Devin Thomas scores too. Why not? Redskins 32 Lions 14


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