The Craziest, Most Psychotic Preamble Yet (reader discretion is advised)
Howdy fellow tribesmen:
Anyone notice that last week I skipped from Issue 10 to Issue 12? I would assume not, considering circulation for Skins Serv didn't reach quarterly estimates and readership of Skins Serv was even worse. Even though this week's edition is technically the twelfth, I am just going to call it the thirteenth and move on. Lets just say we skipped the eleventh issue in honor of those lost in the tragedies of 9/11.
A few tangents to start. I get the sense that the Skins Serv is becoming too much x's and o's and not enough Saadman. At the start of Skins Serv I was achieving that perfect blend, but since the season started my writing has lost the beautiful balance and focused too much on game-planning and Washington Post-like catchy stories. There was not enough about my fanatical perspective on, and relationship with, our Braves on the Warpath. I am going to try to get back to what got us here (I have no idea what that means - it just sounded very football-like).
I have been crunching the numbers and trying to put together patterns to explain the Skins up and down performance thus far. As was pointed out this week by my brother, I refuse to point the finger at specific players on the team. I protect the players I have grown to love so much and will continue to do so. I am also not going to blame the losses on the coaching staff - the Skins have been hampered by injuries on defense, and against the Giants the offense was never really on the field. So if not the coaches and players, who do I turn to? Well, no one other than me. Yes, me. Before anything else, I must take a good long look at myself and re-assess what I'm doing as a fan and how I can improve. If we each take some personal responsibility for the Skins anguish, I think we will start seeing a steady improvement from our boys.
So back to the number crunching: what can I change to get the Skins back on the road to victory?
The first thing would have to be my observance of Judaism in relation to the games (this portion of the serv is off the record and not to be forwarded around). Is there a pattern? Let's go to the videotape:
The Redskins record in games I have watched on yom tov this year: 1-1
The Redskins record in games I haven't watched on yom tov this year: 1-0
Ok. Maybe there's something to this, but I am going to rule out any patterns and say it is a push. There are tons of Skins fans who both observed and didn't observe on gamedays thus far, which means that religious observance can't really be a deciding factor in the outcome of the games (never mind the Jews rooting for our opponents).
Next: my writing patterns on Skins serv. Sometimes I write a lot, sometimes I write less. Maybe I can find a correlation there.
Total Skins Serv Words in Redskins Wins: 2026 (1,013 Avg)
Total Skins Serv Words in Redskins Loses: 4575 (1,525 Avg)
Looks like we might have something here - less looks to be better in terms of wins and losses. If I can keep Skins Serv at around a thousand words then the Skins will win. Not so fast - In the Texans win, I wrote a mere 342 words, while in the Jags victory I wrote a whopping 1683 words. Not much of a correlation there.
So maybe it isn't a numbers issue for us. Maybe it is a mental issue. Is it possible that because of so much weekend yom tov we've all just not approached this season in the same passionate manner that we've approached seasons past? This could very well be. I personally don't have the mental vigor I had when entering mid-October of last season. And I think it is safe to say that you guys are feeling the same indifference. I know it's early in the season, but don't you feel like you are lacking your Redskins edge? Maybe we (and the religion) are to blame. Then again, the Redskins went from 1993-1999 without making the playoffs and from 2000-2005 without making the playoffs. Those were some lean years that included both times in which yom tov was during the week and on the weekend. I guess we can't really blame the big guy after all.
Regardless of how porous my three theories on the season are, I think it is still good mussar for all of us. Maybe just like the players, who are searching for answers right now, we too as fans need to be searching for solutions and figuring out what we can improve upon in order to turn this thing around (right now, there's no tomorrow, right now, its everything). I will be looking to improve myself in the coming days and I hope you will be too.
I am going to stick this whole "no x's and o's" thing for this week and just give you my gut feeling based upon how I have seen it unfold this week on Redskins.Com TV. The Redskins are pissed. I have never seen so many unfriendly interviews by this team in my life. They got embarrassed by the Giants - they were outplayed, outphysicaled and outtrashtalked. Whats worse is that they were thrown down on their asses by former players such as Pierce and Arrington who looked like they knew what was coming before the plays even began. Sean Taylor will be angry because he got schooled and Mike Sellars will be angrier because the Skins opted to pass on that big 3rd and 1. The Skins want to be a physical team and will be out there on Sunday trying to prove just that. Because of the aforementioned reasons, the Skins are going to obliterate the Titans. This game won't be close from the beginning - a celebration of Redskins football, if you will. Remember when Alex Smith came in last year? 52 points? Look for it again with Vince Young. The Skins have put up 31 and 36 on the two AFC South teams they've played already and this is the worst of the bunch.
With this week's win in the bag (even me jinxing it can't screw it up), we have to consider the Indy game. Talk about a must win!!! The difference between 3-4 and 4-3 heading into the bye week is astronomical, especially considering they play Dallas and Philly in the weeks after the bye. I had the Indy game penciled as a loss at the beginning of the year, but even after the debacle on Sunday, I think the Skins can win in Indy - they are just not that good this year. Enough about next week...for now.
Springs - Old man winter was back on the practice field yesterday after a 6 week hiatus. Springs made it through one on one drills and 7 on 7 drills without pulling, tearing or cracking something. That is great news. Springs said that some days he feels better than others and thinks he could play Sunday. He won't. The Skins will be super prudent with Springs and make sure he's 110% before playing in a game. If Springs is back for Indy, it could make all the difference in the world.
Hall - His career as a Redskin is over. The last straw was him not telling the truth about his sore thigh and groin leading up to and during the Giants game. If Gibbs was aware of the injury there is no way he sends Hall out for the 42 yarder on 4th and 1 with the Skins down 16-3. That was a huge spot in the game and Hall screwed us big. Hall, who was last scene slamming his limo door on the Washington media yesterday, is on IR for the rest of the year. In his place the Skins have brought in former Terp Nick Novak. He hit the game winner last year against Seattle, but nobody is sure how he'll perform as the full-timer. The Skins were also concerned about a calf injury to Derrick Frost, but it appears he'll be ready on Sunday.
Samoa Joe - More leg problems for big 9-5. He acknowledged this week that he will have to earn a spot in the rotation with Golston and Montgomery playing nicely.
Dolemite Jenkins - In case you missed it, CP did his best Napoleon Dynamite rendition during his Thursday Presser last week. He had the wig, the boots and the fro and he also had a shirt that said "Vote for Santana" (for NFL player of the month). His impersonation was fantastic and he also really nailed the dance. Another masterful performance from my boy Dolla Bill. No alter-ego this week though. Remember - they are angry.
Washington - The Skins are downplaying a hip injury Marcus suffered last week, but I think its something to watch for. 53 did not look right during the second half against the Giants and it sound like something that could be recurring. Washington has rested it all week - let's hope there are no lingering problems.
The Right Side - Andre Carter and Warrick Holdman were nowhere to be found at the Meadowlands and Tiki abused them. The only fallout I can think of from this meltdown is that just like last year, Holdman will be dethroned in the next two weeks. I imagine Rocky McIntosh will be starting by the Dallas game on 11/5.
I think that's it. In another personal plug, I have attached my proposal for the Skins to lead a mission to New Orleans during the week of the Skins/Saints game in December. The proposal has pretty much been rejected by the Skins (they are sending team wives instead). Anywho, I am still considering going down for the game and volunteering to build some houses in the days leading up. The trip will be fun and meaningful and I would like to cordially invite all of you to join me.
Every time I dream the Skins are going to win, the lose. Every time I dream they're going to lose, they win.
Think negative thoughts.
Word Count: 1742 (that's within 59 words of the Jags game - good things)