Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Week 7 - Stick a Fork in Us (Issue 14)

To my beloved Jew-fans of the Ole Dixie Braves:

I don't know a better way to phrase this situation other than: we are screwed.

You want analogies, I'll give you analogies: Lee Harvey Oswalt after he shot Kennedy, Martin Luther King while taking his morning shower at the Lorraine Motel, Honest Abe as he was shluphing through some boring play, Diana and Dodi while they were fooling around in the backie-back, the accused guy in "Dead Man Walking." Got me? This team is on life support and the Colts are in the waiting room.


I know SkinsServ is a day early, but I've seen and read enough. I need to use this forum to get the bad news off my chest now so I can regroup and give you a more favorable assessment tomorrow when my old optimistic self comes back. For now, the news is only dreary. I had actually bounced back from the Titans game pretty quickly (didn't even have to use meds to do it). On my drive home from work on Monday my mind was already drawing images of CP breaking through the Indy d-line and Santana and Lloyd having big days on the astro turf. Well, my friends, those delusional visions of success have quickly crumbled this afternoon after a couple of pieces of news have knocked my tusch down from the artificial (actual?) high.


Get ready, this will sting for a second (just a quick rub of the prostate):


1) Carlos Rogers is out on Sunday: No real good way to spin this one other than the fact that he's been drek all year so it won't be much of a difference. Here's the problem - there is nobody to back him up. Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne are the best receiving tandem in the league and we're going to have an injured Shaun Springs and an incompetent Kenny Wright matching them up 1on1. And guess who's going to play nickel for the Skins this week? Troy Vincent. Yup, your eyes aren't failing you that is Troy Vincent, Wisconsin class of 1992 (that's when CZ in the corner graduated HS!!!!) The dude is going to be manning-up on guys while using a walker. When Springs goes back down with injury early in the first quarter, fret not because Mike Rumph will be there to save the day!!!! And when Vincent breaks an ankle while slipping in the shower this week (common old person injury for you novices) guess who's going to back him up? Ade Jimoh. You may remember our old friend Ade, he was last scene trailing the Tennessee receiver by 10 feet on the Titans second TD on Sunday. The Skins might be holding an open tryout at Redskins Park this week for CBs in the DC area; I'm thinking I have a legit shot of suiting up on Sunday (I have 4 picks in my Booz Allen league this year and my sore groin ain't so sore


2) Salavea and Griffin are also out for Sunday. I know what you're thinking - they are supposed to be back this week. Nope - Salavea's calf is still not right (I'm thinking he should just get calf implants). Samoa Joe is probably closer to retirement than he is playing. Very sad - I loved seeing how many layers his belly had every week. The Skins are going to try to cover up Griffins hip problem by listing him as questionable this afternoon, but my man on the inside says they're full of crap and if he plays he'd be risking a much more significant injury. Is it me or have these two missed about 50% of the Skins games over the past two years? Both guys are not durable enough and should be waived when the season ends on 12/30/2006 (there, I said it, no playoffs). BTW - remember how I thought Montgomery and Golston were adequate replacements at tackle? I was dead wrong. I read that same stuff you guys read -  Redskins.Com said these guys are good. Redskins.Com? Duh. I just realized the Redskins publish all the content on Redskins.Com! Travis Henry put up an 175-spot on these two clowns - it's only going to get worse against the Colts.


3) The Colts shored up their d-line yesterday by trading for 300 lb tank Walter MacFarland. The big guy was supposed to practice for the Colts today and chances are he'll be in the starting lineup on Sunday to obliterate our offensive line. Even with MacFarland, CP, in theory, could have a good day. Here's the problem - the Skins offense may never be on the field. I have no reason to believe we'll be able to stop the Colts and keep their offense off the field. Addai is going to be huge and look for Harrison and Wayne to both go for 100 yards and some TDs. I wish DollaBill will get a chance to carry the load as he has been begging Gibbs his staff of curmudgeons to do, but if the Skins will be playing from behind (which they will), expect to see Brunell throwing the ball a lot again.


If there was ever a time to create some kind of sports mesheberach, here it is.

This game is the biggest of the year. 2-5 and 3-4 are astronomically different (numerically different?), especially going into Cowboys week. For the sake of my first real tailgate of the year on 11/5 and for the sake of the value of my tickets (and my mental stability, etc, etc, etc), I pray the Skins win this week. If they can shock the world, then they can play Dallas with a chance to be .500. If not, gear up for the fat lady to belt out a dirge on the the most disappointing Skins year in my lifetime (or just since 04).


More to follow tomorrow...

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